Real Talk
something has been bothering me lately. i have such a hard time with people that put others down for fun or to make themselves feel better. i recently had some people make jokes about one of my past relationships in front of a group of peers & i'm not gonna lie, it bothered me. i tried to push it down & get over it bc “they were just making a joke” or “they were just making light of it.” but then i thought to myself, there’s a reason why you feel this way kinley, find out why. so i did. & that’s exactly it, they made light of it by making a joke. i prayerfully consider my decisions & don’t take them lightly. i HATE it when people intentionally make comments to intentionally make others feel bad/uncomfortable/insecure. the moment they made that comment, my heart fell bc they made a jab at one of my life decisions. they put my decisions on the stand & they didn’t have the right to do so. don’t misunderstand me, this isn’t about those specific people or putting them down. this is about how their words made me feel inside. because MY FEELINGS MATTER. although to some i may come across put together or like i have no problems, that couldn’t be further from the truth. i am flawed, human, & i have insecurities just like you. & just like my feelings matter, SO DO YOURS. you don’t have to put up with people calling your life choices into question or people making fun of the way you look or telling you that you should be a certain way. THIS HAS TO STOP. as christians we are called to lift others up & encourage them. NOT slam them down publicly or purposefully try to embarrass them. this is un-christlike & unacceptable. we are not to judge for that is the Lord’s job. if you have a legit problem with someone, GO TO THEM & WORK IT OUT. stop the behind-your-back stuff, it's wrong. just man up. the phrase all of our mamas taught us as kids is so pertinent to this conversation: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. i know some of you are sitting there thinking, “but you’ve judged me” or “but you’re the most judge mental person i know” & you may scoff & roll your eyes. but the truth is, of course i’ve judged people. ITS HUMAN NATURE & as christians what we’re supposed to do is fight our flesh & put on the skin of Jesus. the truth of the matter is, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. *queue Hannah Montana* we all fall short of God’s glory & righteousness, but that doesn’t mean we should give up & give into our flesh. the point of this isn't about me or about those comments, it's about the fact that we all have a tendency towards sin because we're human. but we should make it our business to edit ourselves & become more like Christ. my heart is that your heart connects to this, whether you've done this to someone or it's been done to you & you hear my heart. i'm not condemning those people or putting the spotlight on them, this is about a revelation i had after this happened to me. i'm not going to sit back & say that i haven't been the cause of someone else's pain because that's not true, we're human & we sin & we sin against each other. i’m not going to say that i haven’t made fun of someone or that i haven’t gossiped, but i'm asking the Lord to make me more like Him & take those fleshly desires away.we must ask God for strength to fight our flesh daily & lay it at the feet of Jesus.
to all the people that struggle with this, words hurt. we all know that bc we’ve all had people make fun of us or embarrass us. making fun of someone DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL, it makes you MEAN. do unto others as you want to be treated. if it’s really a struggle for you, pray about it. lay it at the feet of Jesus.
to all the people who have been the victim of this, it’s okay to stand up for yourself. you’re not a doormat, you’re a person with a purpose, act like it. you’re not defined by what other people say about you, your definition is in your identity as a child of God. being a victim is a choice, don’t wallow in it, be empowered by it. i know it sounds counterproductive, but being vulnerable & telling people when they hurt you is okay. sometimes they don’t realize how much they’ve hurt you until you show them.
my challenge to you is, the next time you feel the desire to say something about someone that is unkind, think 5 seconds longer. words hurt so much, they’re things we carry with us sometimes for the rest of our lives. watch what you say, you’ll never know what walking a mile in someone else’s shoes is like.
as always, if you need prayer, have any questions, post requests, or just want to chat please feel free to contact me through email or social media. you can click on the contact tab at the top of the page & fill in the required fields or follow my social media accounts through the icons on the left side of my home page. thank you for reading Saved By Grace, until next time y'all :-)
"& I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord, & I will be the glory in her midst."
Zechariah 2:5